I love how no one reads this, and yet I still write. Like there is some silent message thats going to be heard? I don't stay true to regular blogger fashion i've realized. I'm not very good at opening up about my life personally as some do. I'll tell you whats going on, on rare occasions, and the rest I will let you know in oppinions. I personally know my oppinions don't matter, but for some odd reasons I always feel the need to share them. I realize most of the time people don't listen to me. They don't like to. Who really wants to hear the truth now-a-days? Most of the time I don't want to hear the truth. But no matter how you try to cover it up, the truth will ALWAYS be the truth. So why not listen? If I would've listened to the truth last year, maybe just maybe, my life wouldn't have turned out so, confusing, so hard, so... intolerable. I can't exactly say that much has changed. Since November of last year, almost an exact year ago, my life was flipped completely upside down. I'm not sure if I will ever recover from traumatic loss. It doesn't matter if feelings have changed or not. The loss is still there. Lurking around every corner, hidden behind every memory, clinging to my heart like an ugly black leach. I'm terrified of suffering any of that ever again, but it's innevitable. Life is full of heartache, and loss. It's the only way we learn. Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a slow learner. After all, it would make life much much simpler. But of course nothing worth it is ever easy.
Come to think of it. I used that term a lot last year, but not in the same way. I thought of it completely different; all wrong.
Riddle me this. Is it better to listen to your heart? or your mind? Which one knows better? Honestly I don't really have an answer to that riddle, but so far my heart has lead me down dark and dreary roads which I never hope to encounter again.
Maybe someday I'll learn, but until then I bid you all farewell.
After all no ones reading this anyway.