This song came on my ipod the other day, and I actually started crying. It is everything I have to say about my life and how far I have come. I am a warrior. I am stronger now than I have ever been, and I will continue to be strong, and fight to have a life that I deserve. I will never let anyone bring me down, because I have the power to keep myself standing.
There was a point in time where I didn't believe anyone when they would tell me that with time I would start feeling better. It felt like I was in a never ending heartache. Nearly three years of never ending heartache. I'm not sure what day it was when I woke up and realized I didn't hurt any more. When I realized I was free. I was free to be whoever I wanted to be without anyone telling me no. The divorce was finalized a few weeks ago. When I thought of that day happening I imagined myself being depressed and sad, but that wasn't what happened at all. I honestly felt an incredibly heavy weight lifted off of my shoulders. All I know is I'm so grateful for my Heavenly Father for prompting me to do what I needed to do in order to actually begin living my life. I know that His plan for us is always bigger than the plan we have for ourselves, and if we put our life in His hands He will guide it where it needs to go. Even though there were times where I wasn't sure if my promptings were right, I'm so thankful I followed through with them. Things are finally feeling like they are falling into place. I'm so thankful to my parents who have always had my back throughout life, and have held me up even when I felt like I couldn't keep going. I'm so glad that I was blessed with parents who I have always had a great and strong relationship with. I don't know what I would do without them. It may take a long while before I feel like I can actually trust someone enough to be in a relationship with them, but I'm ok with that. I'm ok with learning who I am, and enjoying my life to the fullest. I may not know where my future is headed but I do know that I'm going in the right direction.

*I have had a lot of people email me privately after I posted about my divorce, asking for advice, and needing help. I just want to say thank you to all those that have messaged me and trusted me for advice. I feel like we all go through trials in order to help others in their trials as well. I'm very open and if you have any questions about what happened and need advice of any sort I'm willing to answer them. You can contact me on facebook or at my email at: ashisbatgirl_111@hotmail.com


dunebuggyaz said...

You're a beautiful, strong girl and I'm proud of you and the decision you made to take care of you! Sure do love you girl!

Chantel Stucki said...

Ah, crying. This song is beautiful. Okay, I know I am shamelessly stalking your blog right now, but can I just say that I love you. I really feel this high amount of love for you right now. Thank you for punching all your trials and being so dang TOUGH! I guessed that about you when I met you - that you are a fighter. And it's inspiring to me. I am glad for your influence and for the inspiration from your blog. Thank you, Ashlee. BIG hug to you.