On Acting

On Saturday I auditioned for another play (Robin Hood), in hopes of making it round two in my acting career.
It was a stressful audition. We had to come up with our own monologue, and I had no idea what I was going to do. I had never done that before. I was just given the script and told what to do. This time I had to find something that could showcase my ability.
The night before the audition, I was almost positive I wasn't going to be auditioning. The pressure of finding a monologue was too great and I just didn't know if I should. That night I went to Orans opening night for his play Sorcerers Apprentice, and got to see a lot of the people I worked with in Babes in Toyland. We went to dinner after the play, and I realized how much I miss being at the theatre, and being with those people, and just acting. It's amazing to me that I have finally had the chance to do this, and love it so much. I always thought I would never be able to do it.
So I got up the courage Saturday morning, found a monologue, and went. I was incredibly late, and incredibly unprepared, but I just did my best. I was excited because the monologue I chose is one that I love.
I don't know if any of you have ever seen the movie Stardust, but I love it, and I especially love these lines:

You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

At first I started reading it quietly, which I know is a big no no. So I started to push myself to be as loud as I could. I put it into my mind that I was speaking to the one I love for the first time, and declaring it. I wanted everyone to hear it, and feel it, and believe it.

That's what I love about acting, is getting the audience to believe it, and to feel it. I love telling a story, especially one that will stick with the audience for a long time.

I'm so grateful I finally had the opportunity to act, and that I now know how much I honestly love it. It's something I want to keep doing for a long time. I'm so happy to have something I'm so passionate about. I only wish I would have realized my love for it, and my potential sooner.

Babes In Toyland was such a fun play. The whole cast became so close, laughing together, acting together, everyone getting sick together... I can laugh about that horribleness now, but I now have so many memories I wouldn't trade. I'm  hoping I get the chance to make more of those memories through acting.

While I was reading my monologue I could hear the director whispering about me, but I thought it sounded positive.

By the end of it she told me right on the spot to come to Tuesday's call backs. There were two different callbacks one is for fighting, and one is for voice. I got called back to do the voice audition, and I am so excited! I'm hoping I get another chance to act, but if not I'm just going to keep trying, and keep improving. This is something I do not want to give up on, or let go of.

This ends my talk of theatre for now, because I know you all probably don't really care about this, but I do. So you probably will hear more about it later!

Wish me a good "leg breaking."

1 comment:

Rachey Elder said...

That's awesome Ash! Way to push yourself! I bet you're amazing. I'd love to come watch you sometime:)