One of the greatest blessings

Nothing in this world could possibly make you more baby hungry than actually seeing someone with their baby for the very first time.
Almost two weeks ago I had the honor/privilege to witness my aunt give birth to her first baby girl. This is her last baby and she has three boys. Needless to say she has been waiting for a little girl for a long time.  I was able to take photos of her with her baby girl for the first time, as well as my uncle. I was crying, and shaking from the experience. It was so beautiful to be able to see life come into this world. Someone being so close to our Heavenly Father right at that moment, and then seeing my aunt in tears as she got to see her little girl. My heart swelled. I can't even begin to explain to you how incredible it really was. I was shaking as I took the photos which is why some of them ended up a little fuzzy.
At first I thought the experience would be incredible just for the fact that I got to be doing two of my loves. Seeing the medical field in action, and doing photography at the same time. But that wasn't even the thing that really got me. What got me was the love that I felt, the spirit that I felt, and at that moment I realized there is no greater calling on this earth, than to be a mom.
As I left the hospital I honestly couldn't even sleep. My mind was racing. It was almost like the feeling you get after the first kiss with the true love of your life. (If some of you haven't experienced that yet, don't worry, you will, and you will know just how magical that really is.) I was smiling, and giddy, and in awe. I really can't tell you the feelings I felt, but I really did truly feel the spirit so strongly.
Call me crazy, but at that moment, I longed for a baby so bad. I longed for the moment my aunt had seeing her baby for the first time. I longed for that moment that  my aunt and uncle were able to hold each other and their new baby, and know that they did one of the greatest things in this world.
I'm not saying I'm going to be getting pregnant any time really soon. I will admit to you that I am extremely baby hungry and long for a baby so much. But right now my body, and my disease limit me from doing so. Being pregnant will be quite the process for me. I'm going to be in a lot of pain. I won't be able to give in to food temptations. With my disease there is a high risk for miscarriages, which means I will have to be more strict with my diet than I ever have been in my entire life. With my back in the shape that it is in, my orthopedic surgeon told me I will have a lot of pain with all of my pregnancies. I know that someday it will be so worth it. It is something that I am working toward and hope to be able to have someday in the somewhat near future.
I hope you don't judge this post, and think wow she is so young to be thinking about having kids. Maybe that's what you believe. I know that having children for some reason is looked down upon, and I'm not entirely sure why. Everyone, I guess, feels like they have so many things to do before having children. Having children ends up on the back burner of their lists. I've done this myself. Now as I've mentioned before, the decision to have children solely lies between you, your husband, and God. No one else.
After hearing this conference talk in the last session of general conference (I have referred a few of you to it) I knew that having children wasn't something that you just toss aside until you feel you can handle children.

"Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family. My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother (not of our faith) with five children. She commented: “[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. … Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get.” She then adds: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.”"
(Read the rest of this talk here.)

I'm not trying to force opinions on anyone. I just want to express just how important having a family really is. I can't wait for the day that I finally am able to have children of my own. To have a piece of my husband and I forever. What a wonderful and beautiful blessing it will be.

You can look for the rest of these photos here, at my photo blog. They should all be up very soon.


Beka said...

Ash I love this. I don't think you are crazy or too young to have kids. It is interesting to read your blog (and other blogs like it of young married couples) about marriage and having kids and stuff. It makes me look forward to the future and what i hope to have! thank you for your perspective on children! i know you will be a wonderful mother when that time comes! love you girl!

Jake & Jenessa said...

i love it! Ash I am totally in the same boat as you. I want kids, really bad and I have the "hunger" just as well as my husband but it doesn't mean I am going to just yet. It is worst when you see your husband hold a little baby and he just melts!