I'ma downer

I'm feeling like a downer right now. I think I have the right to be every once in a while right? I get so annoyed of all the people in the blogosphere who like to make it seem like their life is perfect. It just makes those of us who, maybe, are going through a hard time, feel even worse. It's totally okay to brag about the good things in your life, but I want people to be some-what realistic. It makes reading blogs so much more helpful, rewarding, inspiring? I don't know, I just think that we all go through lifes trials for a reason, and one of those reasons is to help others get through their trials with your knowledge and experience.
Anyway, the reason I'm being something of a downer is because I get so stressed thinking about the future and what it holds. One day I'm super excited for it. Ya know; the thought of having kids, having a photography business, our own house, go to school etc. But then my husband and I have talks, like the one we did today, where the things I dream about and want, just seem so far away.
Maybe it's the fact that I have terrible anxiety and the thought of life taking me away from my dreams really terrifies me. I don't know how I would be able to cope. I mean, I have before, and probably could again no matter the situation, but it just scares me.
I hate having doubts on whether I will actually be able to do all I want to do in life.
Geeze this post is really depressing me, I think I should stop writing now. Sorry for being a downer but sometimes a girl has just gotta vent am I right?


Beka said...

Girl, you can totally vent. It's ok to have downer days! hey i have bipolar days so much (like today). I realized that it was trying so hard to make my life seem perfect to everyone else that I was ignoring vital things that make my life complete- meaningful prayer, scripture study, studying so i can get good grades. the future is scary! dude i just hope i can graduate college and get a job! just remember that despite the bad days, good times are just around the corner. i love this quote (and i need to remember it more often): "turn your face towards the sun (Son) and all the shadows fall behind."

melia said...

i agree with you completely (:

steph said...

the problem with society (and blogs) is that we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reels. your life is beautiful! i get scared like that all the time. like everything i want in life is so unattainable. but it's not. it's definitely attainable. you've always been there for me (per say) when i've had my down days on my blog (ha?) and you should know that you help me more than you know! you are fabulous and i'm so pleased that i've been able to read about your life. also, i feel like we should hang out some time.

Rachey Smart said...

Ash everyone has crappy days even if their life seems, "perfect." You can have your dreams. Don't lose sight of them and make sure you are taking the steps to make sure they happen. They may not just happen on their own. love ya girl:)

Hopeless Romantic said...

I agree with Steph. The thing is, you can see all of you completely-- good and bad, while you can only see in others what they decide to show to you--which is generally only the good stuff. I definitely have those days too. I had one yesterday and tomorrow isn't looking too hopeful either. Keep your chin up and remember that the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. P.S. Joshua 1:9 :)