Blog post from January 5, 2010; Ashlee longed for a boy :
It's human nature after all. To want to be held, and be told how beautiful you are everyday (even if you necessarily don't believe it) i want to wake up to texts that make me smile from that boy who makes me blush. i want to hold hands and walk around temple square. I want to make goofy handshakes and have inside jokes we only know about. I want that perfect kiss. (Yes, I want a kiss. Shocker eh? I mean a perfect rare one. Not everyone elses version of kissing) I want someone to tease who drives me around and sings me songs that remind them of me. As great as that all sounds though, is it worth it? I am after all seventeen years old. I don't know if anything i get into will even be worth the pain i almost am certain will come after. I don't handle losing people well at all. I'm a tad mystified at this complex. I have no idea what will happen but I guess I can patiently wait for my knight in shining armor. After all he's still in training, which is why I haven't met him yet :)
Blog post from January 28, 2010; Ashlee got a ticket.
One tiny mistake. For only being a few seconds too slow I was put in to huge amounts of trouble. Normally, I'm really good at talking with cops, they like me, and I respect what they do, so we get a long. That day was the exception. I wasn't in a good mood, and being pulled over didn't help the matter. I agreed that it was my fault. It was, the problem was, it wasn't that big of a deal. I saw a yellow light and proceeded to go through it. The light flashed that horrible bright red color as i went under, and knots filled my stomach. I looked behind me and noticed the cop swiftly change turning lanes and flip on his lights. It didn't help that I had my two youngest siblings in the car with me. The cop didn't take to that very well, and hence forth he gave me one nasty ticket. $90 smackaroos. Joy.
Blog post from February 2, 2010: Ashlee thought she might like a boy:
I don't like you men, and your evil schemes.
but really i do.
stop being cute so i can go back to being mad at you!!!!Blog post from February 15, 2010; Ashlee tried a new sport:
I have started a new sport by the name of Lacrosse. I enjoy the acronym Lax. Though it has been hard, and extremely time consuming, I have come to love this sport, and all the girls in it. I enjoy meeting new people and everyone I have met so far has really been such a joy. They are always encouraging me and helping me to progress. I love the team work, and the dedication we are all showing together. I can't wait to start the season.
Blog post from February 16, 2010; Ashlee made varsity:
Expecting the worst my eyes wondered over to the side where it listed everyone on JV. My name wasn't there. My heart beat excellerated and I could feel it pounding unbearably fast in my chest. My eyes shot over to the varsity list. There, the second one down, was my name. Though it was spelled incorectly, i knew it was me.
Blog post from February 17, 2010; Ashlee watched her best friend leave on his mission:
As of nine o clock pm yesterday, my life became an emotional nightmare. My best friend and uncle was set apart as a missionary. Now let me explain. I am super happy, and proud of him. He is going to do great and amazing things, and i can't wait for him to get out there. But that doesn't make it any less difficult letting someone you really care about go, for an extended period of time.
Blog post from March 15, 2010; Ashlee had a crush on a boy:
Oh dear sweet adorable boy, will you ever really know me?
- the girl who absolutely adores you.
Blog post from March 26, 2010; Ashlee somehow did well at HOSA:
When we got to the awards ceremony, we were suprised to see we took 4th place out of 27 teams in forensic science! We started laughing hysterically. Ky and I had no idea how we pulled that off. I also placed 9th out of tons of people on the knowledge test.
Blog post from April 5, 2010; Ashlee started going through health trials and quit being addicted to caffiene:
I will no longer be drinking any form of caffeine. If you know me then you will know this is a huge change. I was extremely addicted to caffeine. I had to have it every morning or I would recieve a rather ugly headache. Though I enjoyed the taste, I hated being a slave to it. I didn't want to live like that anymore. So, I took my last drink last saturday. -
I have an illness, and the doctors can't figure out whats wrong with me. They say it mostly have to do with my deformed ovary. I say there is something else going on. I guess only time will tell. I am just quite fed up with being sick
Blog post from April 16, 2010; Ashlee found out she has Celiac disease:
Celiac Disease. Ah, a disease I know well. My Grammy has it. I have watched her suffer with it her whole life. It's a disease I would never wish anyone to have, never wish myself to have.
Blog post from April 27, 2010; Ashlee knew MORP would suck:
Ashlee's officially not going. Two people that I've wanted to ask have already been asked. Gotta love my life.
Blog post from April 28, 2010; Ashlee's disease became an everyday struggle:
I need some words of encouragement. Right now I'm struggling to feel encouraged. Or feel good about anything. It's being sick... why do people think that means that I can't do things with them?
Blog post from May 3, 2010; Ashlee went to Senior Prom:
I believe prom is a vain time for us girls. We have to look emmaculate. Well, I sure wanted to. I have never wanted to get dolled up for anything more in my entire life. It's a crime I think, but I wanted to look as close to the best I could as possible
Blog post from May 6, 2010; Ashlee was dying:
I think right now it's ok for me to feel a little down...I've spent the last two nights being hooked up to iv's. Had more blood taken than I knew was possible. Had to post pone my surgeries that were supposed to give me answers because of pneumonia. I can't do anything. I just feel kind of hopeless right now.
Blog post from May 10, 2010; Ashlee decided to be happy:
You are in charge of your own happiness. You can either decide to be happy, or you can decide to be sad. But that is entirely up to you. I've decided that I can dare to dream, but with my eyes open. Though things are hard, that does not make life impossible. I'm the keeper of my own happiness, and I will be happy so heres to dreaming!
Blog post from May 28, 2010; Ashlee graduated high school:
I got a new lap top along with a shiny new car from my grandparents. Life is good :)
Say hello to your 2010 graduate. :D
Blog post from June 4, 2010; Boy Ashlee had been crushing on asked her on a date:
It makes it all the more exciting when that particular boy calls me on the phone and asks me on a date.Don't worry date went spectacular, and it's now going down in the journal. You can call me one extremely happy girl right now.
Blog post from June 13, 2010; Ashlee realized she was growing up:
I've realized growing up is coming at me more quickly than I could have imagined. I don't like it. I miss childhood. I miss my imagination. Creating a world in my backyard with a stick and some rocks. Maybe I will let my imagination take me away this summer. Show me worlds beyond comprehension. Worlds that only I could create. Yes, I do think that sounds enjoyable.
Blog post from June 27, 2010; Ashlee remembered how much she loved feeling the spirit and started becoming extremely close with the fam:
Feeling the spirit is one of the greatest things you can feel. Sometimes I forget how that feels when I get lost in the goings on of a week and just act stupid. I know that if I could capture the way the spirit feels, and remember it constantly I would never do anything to go against feeling it.Also on sunday I spend it with my family. It's really bonding. I love my family so much. They mean the world to me and I couldn't get through anything without them.
Blog post from June 30, 2010; Ashlee thought she would be taking both cna and phlebotomy:
Ya'll know how I love medical stuff? Well starting July I am immersing myself in it. During the day I will be taking a CNA class from 9 am to 4pm. Seem like a long time? Well, an hour later I will be going to my Phlebotomy class at night from 6 pm to 9 pm.
Blog post from July 5, 2010; Ashlee gained a very strong testimony toward the sacrament:
I close my eyes and focus on this special, and sacred ceremony. I remember the reason why I take it. I recall Christ dying on the cross, suffering my sins, my pains, all for my sake. I'm touched deeply and moved by the spirit. I hide the tears that are forcing their way out of my eyes. The sacrament has become one of the most important things to me
Blog post from July 6, 2010; Ashlee's CNA class was canceled. The post was titled "Good thing" she didn't realize how this really was a very good thing:
Also, I'm not taking a CNA class this month, sadly it was canceled.
Blog post from July 7, 2010; Ashlee ran her first 5k:
Father, mother, aunt, and sister piled into a car on our way to run. Run a 5k that is. This was a new experience for me since I never had before run a race.
Blog post from July 24, 2010; Ashlee turned 18 and hated her birthday:
Today is here. The only day of the year I dread the most. My birthday.
And for the man who flipped me off for no reason: Thanks for putting a big downer on my day.
Blog post from July 26, 2010; Ashlee fell in love with phlebotomy:
This has by far been my favorite part of summer. Phlebotomy class. I've learned so much, and I've gotten to know two amazing girls. Even though there is lots of poking and being poked involved it's extremely enjoyable. Even the bruises I've recieved. Lets cross our fingers for getting a job doing this. It's the best.
Blog post from August 2, 2010; Ashlee became a certified Phlebotomist:
Guess who now is officially a certified Phlebotomist? Yours truly. That's right.
Blog post from August 6, 2010& also August 11; Ashlee finally started going on dates:
About to go on a date. Lets be excited about this.
About to embark on yet another date. This one I'm sure will have a good story to go with it.
Blog post from August 17, 2010; Ashlee went on a senior trip to Vegas with her mom:
In vegas, on the strip, sight seeing and show stopping.
Blog post from some day in August 2010; Ashlee realized everyone was leaving:
It's clear, I don't handle change well. I'm not ready for everyone to be leaving. School, missions. I don't know how I'll do it. I'm definitely going to have to rely on the Lord a lot these coming months, and I'm going to have to meet lots of new people. Other wise... I'm going to be alone.
Blog post from August 26, 2010; Not going to school changed Ashlee's direction in life:
After much prayer and very unhelpful people at UVU, I have decided to wait a semester to go to school. I'm going to be working on my CNA and EMT, in the meanwhile.
Blog post from August 27, 2010; Ashlee thought she was going to Boston:
Failed to mention that next summer, I actually will, most likely, have a life.
Blog post from September 15, 2010; Ashlee was on a happiness streak finally:
Life is great. I can't believe I'm saying that, but right now I am believing that's true. I hope that feeling lasts.
Blog post from September 16, 2010; Ashlee realized her guy friends were amazing:
I love my guy friends. Let's just put it that way. They have made my life funnier than ever.
Blog post from September 25, 2010; Ashlee and her friends felt grown up and went on a trip by themselves:
This weekend I was invited on a trip with my guy friends and D-dawg, to Logan to watch an Aggies football game, and just have the joy of a road trip.
Blog post from October 5, 2010; Ashlee started her life changin CNA class:
have now started CNA classes. 7 hours... everyday. You kids who go to school think you got it bad? Try sitting in the same room for seven hours.
Blog post from October 10, 2010; Ashlee fell in love with her CNA class:
I love my CNA class. I really do. I enjoy all the people in it. Everyone is so different, and I like that.
Blog post from October 18, 2010; Ashlee got her puppy:
Meet the cutest puppy ever...
Blog post from November 4, 2010; Ashlee went to more doctors appt.s and was scared:
Another doc. Appt. Tomorrow. Does it ever end? My body doesn't think so
Blog post from November 9, 2010; Ashlee struggled with health and life decisions then came to a conclusion:
I just need to leave everything up to God, and He will direct me where I need to go. Sometimes the hardest decisions are the right ones to make.
Blog post from November 13, 2010; Ashlee went on her first date with a boy who would become very important to her:
I went on a date last night, he not only brought me flowers, but my mom as well. Stud.
Blog post from November 21, 2010; Ashlee found true happiness:
Tonight was just pure bliss, & I'm completely content. It's fine. It's all going to be fine.
Blog post from November 23, 2010; Ashlee became more like herself once again:
I've suddenly become extremely optomistic, and sociable. How did this happen?
I dunno. I think someone is making me this way. Is that fair? Maybe, maybe not. I like it though.
Blog post from November 28, 2010; Ashlee knows why she feels how she does:
The smile permanently etched to my face should show clearly how I'm feeling. Confused? Maybe, but not in the bad way. It's more of a, "what's going to happen next" confused. I feel more like myself than ever before. Like I'm finally... Me. I'm terrified to move forward, and let everything go, but I want to more than anything.
Blog post from November 29, 2010; Ashlee has made up her mind about a certain someone:
Though the future is unclear, it's not so scary anymore. I'm ready to be fearless.
Blog post from December 2, 2010; Ashlee lived a fairy tale:
Have you ever dreamed of a boy tossing rocks outside your window? That happened to Ashlee tonight, except it was snow balls.It still works.
Blog post from December 9, 2010; Ashlee experienced the kind of feeling you only hear about:
I think if I keep having moments that take my breath away, there's no way I'll ever be able to take in oxygen again.
Blog post from December 12, 2010; The boys are leaving on their missions:
I am so proud of each and everyone of my boys who is or will be serving their missions. They all are the best "bros" I could ever have and I'm so thankful to have them in my life, and as my best friends. They will all my wonderful missionaries, and I'm excited to hear about all the lives they are going to change and bless through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Blog post from December 17, 2010; Perfectly content:
I'd say life is real good right now. I have no complaints. I'm thankful for everything that has been placed in front of me, the oportunities I'm having, and the people I'm surrounded by.
Blog post from December 25, 2010; Ashlee has finally got the boy to herself & also landed a job:
I have the most wonderful man in my life whom I can now officially say is mine as of 12 am this morning. I also have found a job, at Super Sonic Car Wash in Orem. It's pretty exciting.
Blog post from December 29, 2010; Ashlee has found her fairy tale:I am probably the happiest person alive right now, and nothing has thwarted that attitude. I have been extremely positive and optimistic and ready for anything that comes my way. The future is finally looking bright to me, and I can't wait.
It is quite interesting to see how my life changed in just one year. How the decisions I made and the promptings I followed led me to where I am now. I wouldn't trade anything that happened this year for anything. I have finally found happiness, and I know that everything is going to be alright. This year taught me a lot, strengthened me and built me into who I am now, and who I will someday become, and I am greatly anticipating what this new year has in store for me.