10.11.2010

Wheat, is of the devil.

There are days when my disease really gets to me. The past few days have been so. For some reason gluten decided to find it's way into my body, and wreak havoc on my stomach, or if we're being technical my intestines. I really haven't felt this bad since I went off gluten. Sure, I'll have a few upsets here and there, but something really bad must've got in me this time. A girl in my CNA class today asked me if I was alright, and I really couldn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes. I hope she didn't notice. No I was not ok. I was thankful for her asking though. The fetal position has helped a tad, but not a lot. Medicine has no effect, unless it's strong, and I don't have any of that. Most of all, I really just want someone to empathize with me. I know that so many people try to understand. I can see their concern in their eyes. I hear their words of sympathy, and I appreciate it, but they don't really know.
Pain is awful. Even worse because it's my own body's fault. Why couldn't I have been made like normal people?
Sigh. Life goes on. Today is just a bad day for Ashlee's body. I would like to thank the people who have really been sympathetic to me, though, for the past few days.
Mom- I know you try. You try so hard to make sure my disease isn't a big deal, and that I don't feel bad. You always make sure people know exactly what to do when we're at resturants, and you are more careful than I am. I appreciate it more than you know.
Mr. Daggum.- Thanks for sticking up for me in front of the whole class, and noticing that I was being left out of the food planning business for Thursday. I really appreciated your concern.
Dakota- Thank you for the gluten free picture you sent me. It put a smile on my face.
Laura (my teacher)- I could tell by your face you were truly concerned for me. It means a lot that you would feel bad like that for someone you hardly know.
The girl who asked if I was alright (I forget her name :/) Thank you for being the first to notice and being kind enough to ask if I was ok.
I'm sorry for the rant fest guys. It's just sometimes, this whole disease thing, really is a horror to deal with, and I don't wish this upon any of you.
I wish you all a very healthy week.

2 comments:

Rachey Smart said...

Ash, Im so sorry. That stinks! That would be a very difficult thing to deal with. I hope you get feeling better! I love your recent photos!!

Oran Arnaud Marc-Henri said...

Haha, I didn't get a chance to read this till now... Yay, Mr. Daggum! You're funny... And remember what I told you last night, you are normal. Your disease can be a blessing... I know that doesn't quite make sense, but it does to me. Your disease allows you to help those who might be suffering with it, and not even know. I am proud of you for being so strong, but sometimes it is alright to cry. Like when watching "Finding Nemo" haha