12.01.2009

Thanksgiving break

I listened to my ugly green cars motor run as I hesitated to walk to the door. They haven't called me all week. I thought sadly to myself. This would be the first time in my Thanksgiving break that I would associate with people other than my family. I was nervous to see the reaction at my presence. Just speak when you need to and don't let it bother you. I wasn't sure if this scheme would work, but it was enough to push me out of the safety of my car. I walked slowly and hesitantly toward the door. I rang the door bell slowly and held my breath. I could hear laughter and shouting from inside. I was last to arrive. A warm face greeted me at the door with a smile and allowed me inside. Everyone else was silent. I could feel the renching feeling in my gut but I ignored it. A controller was shoved in my direction and I attempted to play Halo. Though I spent half the time trying to figure out how to move and shoot, it distracted my mind from thinking of what was going on around me. When I was pulled out of the game and back into reality I was forced to be lost in thought again. Why is no one talking to me? The question had been running throughout my mind the entire week, but it pressed harder when I was in the midst of the problem.
The night ended on a slightly sour note when I found a good reason to excuse myself to go home. I wallowed in my room for the rest of the night, cleaning random somethings that  I found mussled about the floor.
I was kindly asked to be in the company of good people later that night. Not the usuals. Which I was thankful for.
In my opinion guys are much calmer than girls, and also know how to make you feel better about most things.
Well, these said guys do.
Pushing that asid the contention hasn't rested it's building, and going back to school didn't help.
When will this nonsence end? Must we still act like petty junior high students?
I can't help but wondering...

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